Adjacent: Moe's Café

 (Some idea generation and three stories, written in 2013 in response to the eponymous prompt from the book Moe's Café. You may also notice that I was very into Magic: The Gathering at the time.)

Answers

  1. What does the floor look like?
    1. Like something the Golgari would own. Lots of fungus and stuff
  2. What's on the menu?
    1. Mushroom stew, poisonous potatoes, steak, watermelon, cookies, fish, and rotten flesh
  3. Who does Blanche, the waitress, resemble?
    1. Exava
  4. What's hanging on the walls?
    1. Vines
  5. What's playing on the jukebox? On the TV?
    1. Stuff about Herobrine and craftykids and how evil they are
  6. What six specific smells can you identify?
    1. The rotten flesh, fungus, 
  7. Moe is cooking behind the counter. What does he look like?
    1. The Vineman
  8. You spot Barney, Moe's dog, in the corner. What is he doing?
    1. Eating some rotten flesh. Yum!
  9. Who are the people sitting in the next booth? What are they talking about?
    1. Nicol Bolas and Dr. Chibawk. They’re talking about taking over the Multiverse
  10. Blanche brings your food. What does it look like?
    1. Watermelon. ‘Cause that’s what I ordered. It’s a little moldy, though.

One

The walls and floor are covered in vines and fungus. A yellowish dragon and a chicken with purple eyes are sitting together, talking. You look at the menu, afraid of what you’ll see there. The menu has mushroom stew, steak, watermelon, cookies, and fish, which all seem normal. But it also has poisonous potatoes and rotten flesh.

Two

Moe looked up at me. “YOU ARE NEXT,” he said, and disappeared.

Potatoes, probably poisonous ones, I thought, started falling from the ceiling. I ran out the door. The trees around the restaurant were burning.

The purple-eyed chicken materialized in front of me. It grabbed onto my shoe.

Then we were in a room. One moment we were standing next to a flaming tree, and the next we were in a very square room. I couldn’t see any curves anywhere. Then I noticed that was square, too. So was the chicken.

I tried to run away, but tall, black, purple-eyed monsters appeared around me. One of them picked me up. I was carried to a room with a metal door and bars over the window. A monster pressed a button next to the door, and it opened. I was thrown inside, and the door clicked shut behind me.

Three

I stepped over fungus as I walked to table, sat down, and looked at the menu.

The first two things on it were mushroom stew and....poisonous potatoes??? Steak, watermelon, cookies, fish, rotten flesh. I was getting worried about this restaurant.

A waitress wearing clothes with a black and red checkerboard pattern and a strange metal helmet with two sets of horns on it came over to me. I ordered some watermelon.

As I was waiting, yellow dragon—or at least, someone dressed up as a dragon—and a chicken with a sort of purple mist swirling around it materialized in the middle of the restaurant. Although, since they had appeared from thin air, maybe it was a real dragon.

The chicken and dragon sat down. I could see now that the chicken had glowing purple eyes. They started talking about the Multiverse, and something about planes.

My watermelon came. It was moldy. I definitely didn't like Moe's Café.

As soon as I could, I ran toward the door. Potatoes started falling from the ceiling. Moe said, "YOU ARE NEXT." I ran out the door, and saw that the trees were burning. I kept running until I couldn't see Moe's Café.

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