(The original version of Chapter One was written on 2012-03-26, when some younger kids at school were watching me use my computer and I was trying to do things that would be boring to them. The rest was written up until 2015-03-21. I don't think it was really intended to be posted on the blog, but I think it's relevant enough to be posted in this context.)
Chapter One
"Sdhsakghfghsfghsfgkfghkhjk!"
One day an enderwoman was playing Goingol, which is a game that endermen like to play, when suddenly a pig popped out of the ground and shouted, "Sdhsakghfghsfghsfgkfghkhjk!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the enderwoman.
The pig started laughing. "You're so stupid! Ha ha ha!"
The enderwoman was mad. "Grrrr!!!! I'm so mad!!!!" she said.
"You can't catch me!" said the pig.
"Yes I can! I will teleport until I catch you! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!!!!!"
Chapter Two
Interesting
"LOL," said the pig, and she disappeared back into the ground.
The enderwoman, whose name was Emera, looked around furiously for the pig. Seeing no sign of her, Emera checked to make sure there were no players nearby who she could drop sand on to win the game, then randomly teleported again.
Emera appeared in a plains biome, and saw a pig standing next to a pool of water.
Grrrr... It probably wasn't the same one, of course, but it still made her angry. Emera teleported in front of the pig and yelled, "Fdjghfgkdlgldjglkgjldgjgl!"
The pig looked at her with mild interest.
"Gaaah!!!!" screamed Emera. "I hate pigs!!!!!" She grabbed wildly in the pig's direction, then teleported in a random direction, and dropped it off a cliff.
Except she hadn't grabbed the pig. Emera watched as the block of sand fell down side of the cliff, finally landing on...a player's head! She had won the game of Goingol!
Emera teleported to her house in the city of Chibawkia, feeling satisfied with herself.
Chapter Three
A Rotten Night
The next evening, Emera teleported to a nearby zombie farm. Zombies appeared next to a spawner, and were washed into a block of lava. They burned to death in the lava, dropping their rotten flesh into a hopper, which took it to a dropper, which...
...
Well, the rotten flesh was supposed to come out of the dropper.
Emera turned around as another enderman walked into the building. "Hey, Darmad!!" she said. "This zombie farm isn't working! Do you know anything about redstone?"
"No..." said Darmad. "Hang on, I'll go get Meran."
Chapter Four
Missing
Darmad teleported to Meran's doorway. "Hello?" he called.
No answer came from within the huge building.
Darmad walked through the doorway. Chests lined the wall to his left; in front of him, a painting of a sunrise hung next to another doorway; and on the right side of the room, a cloud of bats strained against the leads that connected them to a fence post.
"Meran?"
Still no answer.
Darmad walked into the next room. This one was larger, and filled with strange contraptions, none of which he could discern the purpose of.
After searching the whole house, Darmad was forced to give up; the building was full of inventions, but the inventor was absent. He teleported back to the zombie farm.
Chapter Five
ROFL!
Meran teleported behind the wall of a different zombie farm, to where the redstone was kept. As she had expected, one of the hoppers had been changed to point downward!! "Just like the others!" she said out loud. "It's not even a complicated problem do people even bother looking??"
All this evening, endermen had been coming to her and asking asking her to fix zombie farms, and apparently they didn't check out the problem first, because it was actually very simple to solve, you just had switch this hopper.
Meran was annoyed. "This is annoying!" she said. "I wish I knew who did it. I bet it's the faceless zombies, they can get through walls and don't like us very much! Of course they have good reason considering what it is they've sabotaged."
"LOL," said a voice.
Meran turned around. There was a pig in the corner of the room! She was wearing strange glasses with a big fake nose and eyebrows and a moustache attached to them! "I messed up the hoppers!" said the pig. "Amazing trickstering amirite?? ROFL!"
Meran was angry now. "I'm angry! Grrrr!" she said, and lunged at the pig.
"LOL you endermen," said the pig as she floated up through the ceiling.
One day an enderwoman was playing Goingol, which is a game that endermen like to play, when suddenly a pig popped out of the ground and shouted, "Sdhsakghfghsfghsfgkfghkhjk!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the enderwoman.
The pig started laughing. "You're so stupid! Ha ha ha!"
The enderwoman was mad. "Grrrr!!!! I'm so mad!!!!" she said.
"You can't catch me!" said the pig.
"Yes I can! I will teleport until I catch you! YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!!!!!"
"LOL," said the pig, and she disappeared back into the ground.
The enderwoman, whose name was Emera, looked around furiously for the pig. Seeing no sign of her, Emera checked to make sure there were no players nearby who she could drop sand on to win the game, then randomly teleported again.
Emera appeared in a plains biome, and saw a pig standing next to a pool of water.
Grrrr... It probably wasn't the same one, of course, but it still made her angry. Emera teleported in front of the pig and yelled, "Fdjghfgkdlgldjglkgjldgjgl!"
The pig looked at her with mild interest.
"Gaaah!!!!" screamed Emera. "I hate pigs!!!!!" She grabbed wildly in the pig's direction, then teleported in a random direction, and dropped it off a cliff.
Except she hadn't grabbed the pig. Emera watched as the block of sand fell down side of the cliff, finally landing on...a player's head! She had won the game of Goingol!
Emera teleported to her house in the city of Chibawkia, feeling satisfied with herself.
The next evening, Emera teleported to a nearby zombie farm. Zombies appeared next to a spawner, and were washed into a block of lava. They burned to death in the lava, dropping their rotten flesh into a hopper, which took it to a dropper, which...
...
Well, the rotten flesh was supposed to come out of the dropper.
Emera turned around as another enderman walked into the building. "Hey, Darmad!!" she said. "This zombie farm isn't working! Do you know anything about redstone?"
"No..." said Darmad. "Hang on, I'll go get Meran."
Darmad teleported to Meran's doorway. "Hello?" he called.
No answer came from within the huge building.
Darmad walked through the doorway. Chests lined the wall to his left; in front of him, a painting of a sunrise hung next to another doorway; and on the right side of the room, a cloud of bats strained against the leads that connected them to a fence post.
"Meran?"
Still no answer.
Darmad walked into the next room. This one was larger, and filled with strange contraptions, none of which he could discern the purpose of.
After searching the whole house, Darmad was forced to give up; the building was full of inventions, but the inventor was absent. He teleported back to the zombie farm.
Meran teleported behind the wall of a different zombie farm, to where the redstone was kept. As she had expected, one of the hoppers had been changed to point downward!! "Just like the others!" she said out loud. "It's not even a complicated problem do people even bother looking??"
All this evening, endermen had been coming to her and asking asking her to fix zombie farms, and apparently they didn't check out the problem first, because it was actually very simple to solve, you just had switch this hopper.
Meran was annoyed. "This is annoying!" she said. "I wish I knew who did it. I bet it's the faceless zombies, they can get through walls and don't like us very much! Of course they have good reason considering what it is they've sabotaged."
"LOL," said a voice.
Meran turned around. There was a pig in the corner of the room! She was wearing strange glasses with a big fake nose and eyebrows and a moustache attached to them! "I messed up the hoppers!" said the pig. "Amazing trickstering amirite?? ROFL!"
Meran was angry now. "I'm angry! Grrrr!" she said, and lunged at the pig.
"LOL you endermen," said the pig as she floated up through the ceiling.
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