(This was written up until 2016-03-19. The images were created to be included in the story, although I didn't actually put in the links until posting it now.)
Wow! Who knew that getting lunch could put you in the middle of a battle? Until a couple weeks ago, I certainly didn't!
I once visited a restaurant called Viney Food, and although it had some rather odd items for sale, it had some very good steak! So one day, remembering how delicious it was, I decided to visit Viney Food!
After a few days of running, I came to the edge of the desert in which I had found the restaurant. Viney Food had been built in a desert village, but not just any village--this village had fancy houses that looked like something out of the Nether, made of obsidian, nether bricks, and soul sand! Strangely, it had seemed to have no inhabitants save the Vineman, a vine-covered person who ran Viney Food.
This time, however, the streets were swarming with zombie pigmen! Ghasts floated above the rooftops, magma cubes played in a pool of lava, and a wither skeleton perched with a blaze at the top of the church! And, strangest of all, there was no trace of Viney Food--only more village houses where I remembered the restaurant being!
I was certain that this was the right place, having carefully recorded its coordinates the first time I visited, so decided to question one of the village's new inhabitants.
"Hi!" I said, walking up to a nearby pigwoman. "I'm Happyguy!"
"Er...hello," said the pigwoman, seeming surprised. "I'm Ogza. I don't think I've heard of you...do you have business with Entity 303?"
"Nope! Should I? I was just curious about this village. It's changed since I was last here!"
"OK. That's...OK. When was the last time you were here?"
"It's been about a century and a half, I think," I said. "There weren't many people here last time!"
"Oh, yeah. That must've been before Entity 303 took over."
"There was also a restaurant called Viney Food! Do you you know what happened to it?"
"That place was endorsed by Dr. Chibawk," said Ogza. "It was destroyed."
"Hey, what are you two talking about?" said a new voice. "Ogza, who is this guy? Why did i hear something about Dr Chibawk?"
I turned and saw another pigman walking toward us.
"He was...looking for Viney Food," said Ogza
"Viney Food?" said the other pigman. "And talking about Dr. Chibawk? It doesn't seem like this guy should be allowed in our village!"
"I don't think--" said Ogza, but the other pigmen were already turning toward me. Then, as a group, they rushed forward--and I ran!
* * *
It was unfortunate that the restaurant had been destroyed, but I still wanted some of their steak, and I was certain that the Vineman would have rebuilt Viney Food somewhere else!
As I traveled away from the desert, having left the pigmen far behind, it began to get dark. I decided to ask some monsters if they knew where Viney Food might have moved!
The moon began to peek over the hills in the east, and a zombie walked out from under a tree--and, as luck would have it, they were walking right toward me! A perfect opportunity to ask questions!
"Hey there!" I said. "Could I ask you a question?"
The zombie stopped in their tracks. "I... Sure," they said.
"Great! I was wondering if you knew anything about the restaurant Viney Food, and where I might find it if it still exists!"
"That place," growled the zombie. "They're in Chibawkia now, and they're called Viney Tacos. I wouldn't recommend buying from them, though. They sell rotten flesh, you know! And do you know where they get it?! FARMS! Chibawkia is covered in zombie farms! Of course, it'd be fine if they made tacos from unfortunate zombies who spent too much time in the sun, or tried to take on a player--no sense in letting their remains go to waste--but you can't just burn people to death for FOOD! Why d'you wanna know about Viney Tacos anyway?"
"Well...I wanted to eat some of their steak," I said. "What's that Chibawkia you mentioned? It sounds like something to do with an ender-chicken I once met, but he seemed so nice!"
"Dr. Chibawk? Nice?! All he cares about is preserving his own creations, and destroying those of others! Oh, and cake. He has this RIDICULOUS OBSESSION with cake!
"And, yes Chibawkia is his city."
"Oh," I said. "Is anyone doing anything about him? Maybe I should steal some steak from Viney Tacos!"
"People are doing things, fortunately. There's been a siege going on against Chibawkia. Hey, actually--they recently enlisted the help of a couple mages, and one of them works with living things. He's been doing neat stuff like giving people wings, but he can also grow pieces of meat from nothing--not attached to an animal or anything. It's pretty awesome; nothing dies, and it's delicious! Why don't you come and eat with us?"
"Wow! That sounds great--let's go!"
"Sure," they said, and we set off!
* * *
As we walked, I introduced myself! "I'm Happyguy!" I said. "What's your name?"
"I'm Zimmi," said Zimmi.
As we walked, I told Zimmi about some of my adventures, and they told me about some of the things that had happened with Chibawkia!
Originally, they said, monsters were able to simply scale the city's obsidian walls to get in or make a ranged attack, but since then, Dr. Chibawk had stationed enderman guards on top of the walls. But the monsters had persevered, and found new ways of giving the Chibawkians trouble! One such way, Zimmi explained, was through lava creepers--a type of creeper created by Entity 303 that had strange reactions with TNT and lava, turning them into huge monsters made of the stuff!
"I ran into one of those once!" I said.
"Oh?" said Zimmi. "You must've been unlucky, then--those people have ridiculously specific activation conditions; they've gotta be thrown into lava by exploding TNT. They're also pretty rare--except, it seemed for a while, near Chibawkia. We kept getting these creepers who had memories of waking up surrounded by pigmen, and we eventually figured out that they were lava creepers. Many of them purposefully participated in the TNT-and-lava reaction, sacrificing themselves in order to send waves of molten destruction over Chibawkia."
* * *
Eventually we reached a savanna biome, and in the distance we could see a huge obsidian structure! It was the wall of Chibawkia!
Woosh!
Suddenly, I was flying through the air! I looked to my left, and saw that Zimmi was flying too, carried by a winged skeleton! And, glancing up, I saw that I was also being carried, by a zombie--these must be some of the people Zimmi had mentioned who had been given wings!
We flew into a cave, the monsters navigating around corners with remarkable skill. Then they turned and flew straight toward the wall and--we went right through it!
The winged monsters set us down in the prismarine-brick room, which had rain falling from the ceiling.
"Hey, Zimmi," said the skeleton, who I now noticed had streaks of gold in his wings, as opposed to the plain white of the zombie's. "Who's this you've brought?"
"I'm Happyguy!" I said. "Thanks for the ride--that was amazing!"
"He'd gotten it into his head that Viney Tacos would be a nice place to eat," said Zimmi. "I suggested that he come here and try some biomantic steak instead."
"Cool," said the skeleton. "Well, welcome to our hideout, Happyguy. I'm Lesto, and this is Em." He nodded toward the winged zombie.
"Hi," she said. "Sorry about the rain. It's here to protect against endermen--it hurts them, you know."
"That's fine!" I said. "I love rain!"
"Great! We undead tend to like it too; keeps us from burning in the sun. Anyway, the food droppers are just through here." Em walked over to a dark oak door on the right of the room. The rest of us followed, and we went through into a huge room filled with monsters!
Two figures stood out in the back of the room: a long-haired woman with bright yellow eyes, and a short-haired man who seemed to have no face! Both had brown skin and dark brown hair.
"There's some steak over here," said Zimmi, leading me over to a nearby dropper.
"Who are those two people in the back?" I asked them. "Are they the mages?"
"Yep. You could probably go over and talk to them, if you want, once you've got your steak."
"Great!" I said. I walked onto the pressure plate in front of the dropper, and three pieces of steak came shooting out! I picked them up and, munching on one of them, headed toward the back of the room.
"This steak is delicious!" I said as I got to where the mages were standing. "You made it, right?" I asked the faceless one.
"Yeah," he said. "Thanks."
"So what are your names?" I asked. "I'm Happyguy!"
"I'm Herobecky," said the yellow-eyed mage, "And this is my brother, Herobrian."
I looked at Herobrian in surprise. "You're Herobrian?" I asked. "Wow! I heard about you once!! I heard you were mystical!"
"I...guess I could be described that way," said Herobrian.
"And someone else asked if you had a sister named Herobecky! I guess they were right! So how did you two end up in this war?"
"A century ago, we never would have," said Herobecky. "We used to keep to ourselves, but one Halloween we used our magic on some monsters and inadvertently gave them the ability to teleport through walls--including Chibawkia's walls. Then Dr. Chibawk discovered us, and after that we were plagued by endermen, who stole, killed, and destroyed our work.
"One night some of our monsters came and asked us to help attack Chibawkia. What with Dr. Chibawk antagonizing us so much recently, and with him being a pretty nasty person on general, we agreed to come."
* * *
As I ate the rest of my steak, I talked to some of the monsters.
"So why does Lesto have gold in his wings?" I asked Em. "He seems to be the only one of you who does."
"He's...a leader, of sorts," she replied. "Before there were so many of us, he often volunteered to help defeat various foes. Once, I remember, he went to confront an adorable giant enderman. They were so cute! But they did something horrible."
"What did they do?" I asked.
"They built a bouncy village!" said Em.
"What's so horrible about that?" I said. "It sounds like fun!"
"Trust me, this bouncy village was bad. Even Dr. Chibawk sent someone to help get rid of it!"
* * *
I left the hideout with a stack of delicious steak. Those monsters were very generous!
Wow! Who knew that getting lunch could put you in the middle of a battle? Until a couple weeks ago, I certainly didn't!
I once visited a restaurant called Viney Food, and although it had some rather odd items for sale, it had some very good steak! So one day, remembering how delicious it was, I decided to visit Viney Food!
After a few days of running, I came to the edge of the desert in which I had found the restaurant. Viney Food had been built in a desert village, but not just any village--this village had fancy houses that looked like something out of the Nether, made of obsidian, nether bricks, and soul sand! Strangely, it had seemed to have no inhabitants save the Vineman, a vine-covered person who ran Viney Food.
This time, however, the streets were swarming with zombie pigmen! Ghasts floated above the rooftops, magma cubes played in a pool of lava, and a wither skeleton perched with a blaze at the top of the church! And, strangest of all, there was no trace of Viney Food--only more village houses where I remembered the restaurant being!
I was certain that this was the right place, having carefully recorded its coordinates the first time I visited, so decided to question one of the village's new inhabitants.
"Hi!" I said, walking up to a nearby pigwoman. "I'm Happyguy!"
"Er...hello," said the pigwoman, seeming surprised. "I'm Ogza. I don't think I've heard of you...do you have business with Entity 303?"
"Nope! Should I? I was just curious about this village. It's changed since I was last here!"
"OK. That's...OK. When was the last time you were here?"
"It's been about a century and a half, I think," I said. "There weren't many people here last time!"
"Oh, yeah. That must've been before Entity 303 took over."
"There was also a restaurant called Viney Food! Do you you know what happened to it?"
"That place was endorsed by Dr. Chibawk," said Ogza. "It was destroyed."
"Hey, what are you two talking about?" said a new voice. "Ogza, who is this guy? Why did i hear something about Dr Chibawk?"
I turned and saw another pigman walking toward us.
"He was...looking for Viney Food," said Ogza
"Viney Food?" said the other pigman. "And talking about Dr. Chibawk? It doesn't seem like this guy should be allowed in our village!"
"I don't think--" said Ogza, but the other pigmen were already turning toward me. Then, as a group, they rushed forward--and I ran!
It was unfortunate that the restaurant had been destroyed, but I still wanted some of their steak, and I was certain that the Vineman would have rebuilt Viney Food somewhere else!
As I traveled away from the desert, having left the pigmen far behind, it began to get dark. I decided to ask some monsters if they knew where Viney Food might have moved!
The moon began to peek over the hills in the east, and a zombie walked out from under a tree--and, as luck would have it, they were walking right toward me! A perfect opportunity to ask questions!
"Hey there!" I said. "Could I ask you a question?"
The zombie stopped in their tracks. "I... Sure," they said.
"Great! I was wondering if you knew anything about the restaurant Viney Food, and where I might find it if it still exists!"
"That place," growled the zombie. "They're in Chibawkia now, and they're called Viney Tacos. I wouldn't recommend buying from them, though. They sell rotten flesh, you know! And do you know where they get it?! FARMS! Chibawkia is covered in zombie farms! Of course, it'd be fine if they made tacos from unfortunate zombies who spent too much time in the sun, or tried to take on a player--no sense in letting their remains go to waste--but you can't just burn people to death for FOOD! Why d'you wanna know about Viney Tacos anyway?"
"Well...I wanted to eat some of their steak," I said. "What's that Chibawkia you mentioned? It sounds like something to do with an ender-chicken I once met, but he seemed so nice!"
"Dr. Chibawk? Nice?! All he cares about is preserving his own creations, and destroying those of others! Oh, and cake. He has this RIDICULOUS OBSESSION with cake!
"And, yes Chibawkia is his city."
"Oh," I said. "Is anyone doing anything about him? Maybe I should steal some steak from Viney Tacos!"
"People are doing things, fortunately. There's been a siege going on against Chibawkia. Hey, actually--they recently enlisted the help of a couple mages, and one of them works with living things. He's been doing neat stuff like giving people wings, but he can also grow pieces of meat from nothing--not attached to an animal or anything. It's pretty awesome; nothing dies, and it's delicious! Why don't you come and eat with us?"
"Wow! That sounds great--let's go!"
"Sure," they said, and we set off!
As we walked, I introduced myself! "I'm Happyguy!" I said. "What's your name?"
"I'm Zimmi," said Zimmi.
As we walked, I told Zimmi about some of my adventures, and they told me about some of the things that had happened with Chibawkia!
Originally, they said, monsters were able to simply scale the city's obsidian walls to get in or make a ranged attack, but since then, Dr. Chibawk had stationed enderman guards on top of the walls. But the monsters had persevered, and found new ways of giving the Chibawkians trouble! One such way, Zimmi explained, was through lava creepers--a type of creeper created by Entity 303 that had strange reactions with TNT and lava, turning them into huge monsters made of the stuff!
"I ran into one of those once!" I said.
"Oh?" said Zimmi. "You must've been unlucky, then--those people have ridiculously specific activation conditions; they've gotta be thrown into lava by exploding TNT. They're also pretty rare--except, it seemed for a while, near Chibawkia. We kept getting these creepers who had memories of waking up surrounded by pigmen, and we eventually figured out that they were lava creepers. Many of them purposefully participated in the TNT-and-lava reaction, sacrificing themselves in order to send waves of molten destruction over Chibawkia."
Eventually we reached a savanna biome, and in the distance we could see a huge obsidian structure! It was the wall of Chibawkia!
Woosh!
Suddenly, I was flying through the air! I looked to my left, and saw that Zimmi was flying too, carried by a winged skeleton! And, glancing up, I saw that I was also being carried, by a zombie--these must be some of the people Zimmi had mentioned who had been given wings!
We flew into a cave, the monsters navigating around corners with remarkable skill. Then they turned and flew straight toward the wall and--we went right through it!
The winged monsters set us down in the prismarine-brick room, which had rain falling from the ceiling.
"Hey, Zimmi," said the skeleton, who I now noticed had streaks of gold in his wings, as opposed to the plain white of the zombie's. "Who's this you've brought?"
"I'm Happyguy!" I said. "Thanks for the ride--that was amazing!"
"He'd gotten it into his head that Viney Tacos would be a nice place to eat," said Zimmi. "I suggested that he come here and try some biomantic steak instead."
"Cool," said the skeleton. "Well, welcome to our hideout, Happyguy. I'm Lesto, and this is Em." He nodded toward the winged zombie.
"Hi," she said. "Sorry about the rain. It's here to protect against endermen--it hurts them, you know."
"That's fine!" I said. "I love rain!"
"Great! We undead tend to like it too; keeps us from burning in the sun. Anyway, the food droppers are just through here." Em walked over to a dark oak door on the right of the room. The rest of us followed, and we went through into a huge room filled with monsters!
Two figures stood out in the back of the room: a long-haired woman with bright yellow eyes, and a short-haired man who seemed to have no face! Both had brown skin and dark brown hair.
"There's some steak over here," said Zimmi, leading me over to a nearby dropper.
"Who are those two people in the back?" I asked them. "Are they the mages?"
"Yep. You could probably go over and talk to them, if you want, once you've got your steak."
"Great!" I said. I walked onto the pressure plate in front of the dropper, and three pieces of steak came shooting out! I picked them up and, munching on one of them, headed toward the back of the room.
"This steak is delicious!" I said as I got to where the mages were standing. "You made it, right?" I asked the faceless one.
"Yeah," he said. "Thanks."
"So what are your names?" I asked. "I'm Happyguy!"
"I'm Herobecky," said the yellow-eyed mage, "And this is my brother, Herobrian."
I looked at Herobrian in surprise. "You're Herobrian?" I asked. "Wow! I heard about you once!! I heard you were mystical!"
"I...guess I could be described that way," said Herobrian.
"And someone else asked if you had a sister named Herobecky! I guess they were right! So how did you two end up in this war?"
"A century ago, we never would have," said Herobecky. "We used to keep to ourselves, but one Halloween we used our magic on some monsters and inadvertently gave them the ability to teleport through walls--including Chibawkia's walls. Then Dr. Chibawk discovered us, and after that we were plagued by endermen, who stole, killed, and destroyed our work.
"One night some of our monsters came and asked us to help attack Chibawkia. What with Dr. Chibawk antagonizing us so much recently, and with him being a pretty nasty person on general, we agreed to come."
As I ate the rest of my steak, I talked to some of the monsters.
"So why does Lesto have gold in his wings?" I asked Em. "He seems to be the only one of you who does."
"He's...a leader, of sorts," she replied. "Before there were so many of us, he often volunteered to help defeat various foes. Once, I remember, he went to confront an adorable giant enderman. They were so cute! But they did something horrible."
"What did they do?" I asked.
"They built a bouncy village!" said Em.
"What's so horrible about that?" I said. "It sounds like fun!"
"Trust me, this bouncy village was bad. Even Dr. Chibawk sent someone to help get rid of it!"
I left the hideout with a stack of delicious steak. Those monsters were very generous!
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